inner depths .

she carried her broken faith in her arms like a mother would carry a dying baby . she mouthed sweet lullabies to herself as she broke down in front of a broken mirror . her image did not reflect the beauty she once held so tightly inside . even as all her walls fell down around her she could not show any emotion . it was fear that had gotten her here in the first place . it was pain and suffering that were pushing her along down the path of inner destruction . and it was loneliness that would send her over the edge in the end .

her mind began to shift and her blood began to thicken . her mind began to draw blanks as if shifting through its memories . she sat on the cold tile floor as her sweat spilled around her . her dreams crushes into her lungs and made it harder and harder to breathe . a shattered memory . a dying hope . a bleeding sense of belonging . her bloodshot eyes didn't want to see anymore .

she closed each lid with burning force . darkness engulfed her . she still felt the cold floor beneath her body . still smelt the slight breeze drafting from the open window . still heard the static from the radio . still tasted the blood underneath her tongue . still felt the pain of a thousand lies .

nothing would go away . no matter how far she ran . no matter how much she pushed . no matter how long she screamed . it all remained . it all followed . it all starved for her attention and pushed her closer and closer to the edge . more and more each day she began to hate herself, and hate those around her . her nails dug deep into her flesh . she wished the darkness would just come for her . take her away to a place . not a better place . not a worse place . just a different place . where she could be alone to sort out her thoughts . because everything was happening so quickly she had no time to catch her breath . no time to respond . no time to make a logical decision . it only led to destruction . to heart ache . to pain .

she wanted out and she couldn't find the door .
she wanted new but she couldn't find the old .
she wanted love but she couldn't find the truth .
she wanted happiness but she couldn't find the good .

she wanted nothing , but there was always something .