into the unknown .

like a footprint in the sand the memory of you fades away . touched by the water of the ocean the grains of sand separate like moments of time . creating a new plateau of thinking , a new form of living . like a footprint in the sand you were something special while you were there . you were something magical and questionable . something enjoyable and reliable . something you knew would always be there after every step you took . but just like a footprint in the sand you were gone without warning . washed away by the wind and the waves .

her mildly warm body carried down along the shoreline of the beach . each fresh step feels like a new beginning as sand loops between her toes . such a drastic change from the cold tile floor she usually occupies . she drowns out the world around her with the sound of the waves crashing higher and higher against the rocks . her body gives into the magnetic force pulling her closer and closer to the water . she takes her first step into the exasperatingly cold liquid and enjoys every moment of it . her body tenses, her nerves react, her skin burns . her body goes into overdrive and she loves it . the power . the adrenalin .

the deeper she goes to more she knows she is willing to loose . as the water swarms around her knees she loosing all feeling in her feet . only the drawing waves to carry her deeper and deeper into the depths . the water touches her waste with a light graze, only to cut deeper with such force as to completely knock all other thoughts from her mind , she has never been happier in all her life . she can't think . she can't worry . she can't hurt . all she can do is feel . is drift . is linger .

the water rushes in around her face .. enclosing on her lips . numbing her senses . it slowly rises to her nose . as she takes her last breath and goes under its gone .

shes gone .

were gone .

open water . the cold swarms around her body . as the seaweed lightly slides across her feet and her mind wanders from coral reefs to angel fish .. far away from you and me . land and humanity .
far away from death .
from pain .
from suffering .
from dying from hurting from hate .

into the unknown .

inner depths .

she carried her broken faith in her arms like a mother would carry a dying baby . she mouthed sweet lullabies to herself as she broke down in front of a broken mirror . her image did not reflect the beauty she once held so tightly inside . even as all her walls fell down around her she could not show any emotion . it was fear that had gotten her here in the first place . it was pain and suffering that were pushing her along down the path of inner destruction . and it was loneliness that would send her over the edge in the end .

her mind began to shift and her blood began to thicken . her mind began to draw blanks as if shifting through its memories . she sat on the cold tile floor as her sweat spilled around her . her dreams crushes into her lungs and made it harder and harder to breathe . a shattered memory . a dying hope . a bleeding sense of belonging . her bloodshot eyes didn't want to see anymore .

she closed each lid with burning force . darkness engulfed her . she still felt the cold floor beneath her body . still smelt the slight breeze drafting from the open window . still heard the static from the radio . still tasted the blood underneath her tongue . still felt the pain of a thousand lies .

nothing would go away . no matter how far she ran . no matter how much she pushed . no matter how long she screamed . it all remained . it all followed . it all starved for her attention and pushed her closer and closer to the edge . more and more each day she began to hate herself, and hate those around her . her nails dug deep into her flesh . she wished the darkness would just come for her . take her away to a place . not a better place . not a worse place . just a different place . where she could be alone to sort out her thoughts . because everything was happening so quickly she had no time to catch her breath . no time to respond . no time to make a logical decision . it only led to destruction . to heart ache . to pain .

she wanted out and she couldn't find the door .
she wanted new but she couldn't find the old .
she wanted love but she couldn't find the truth .
she wanted happiness but she couldn't find the good .

she wanted nothing , but there was always something .